Proper Etiquette for Bringing a Plus-One

What is proper plus-one etiquette? There aren’t any set rules, but there are many suggestions to make the process a lot easier.

There can be budget restrictions, as well as limited space getting in the way of you allowing everyone a plus one. You might not be able to accommodate everyone with a date. The term “plus-one” means that an invited guest has permission to bring someone with them to the wedding. These invitations are typically given to unmarried guests, so they have a chance to bring a date with them. It’s not really meant to just bring a friend that wants some free food and drinks.

They are also given to friends and family in serious or long-term relationships, especially if they don’t know the guests partner.  Out-of-town guests are also given a plus-one so they don’t feel uncomfortable. The standard etiquette is that the following guests should receive a plus-one: members of the couple’s immediate family, wedding party members, outlier guests who won’t know many other attendees, and couples who are engaged or in a serious or long-term relationship.

You shouldn’t feel pressure to invite new couples who are just casually dating. If there are single friends who know a lot of your family, they don’t necessarily need one either. Just make sure they are sitting nearby. The number of guests can affect the food and bar expenses, set up fees, etc. Any surprise plus-ones will end up costing you more money. Everything should be confirmed prior to the wedding day.

Here are some plus-one planning tips:

1.       Get the name of every guest and add a space for the primary guest to write the name of their plus-one on the RSVPs. This will be used for the seating chart preparation and reception place cards.

2.       Be prepared to respond to requests if anyone should ask for a plus-one that didn’t receive one. Make sure you have a nice but firm explanation for anyone that inquires.

3.       Make a mock seating chart or use an online seating chart creator. Take into account how you think everyone will get a long when making the seating arrangements. The last thing you want is any drama at your wedding!

4.       For single guests, address the invitation to the primary guest only, and include a plus-one note inside along with the RSVP card. For unmarried couples that are living together, address both parties on the outside and inside of the invitation. If they are living separately, each party will receive their own addressed invitation. If you are uncertain of the relationship status, it’s best not to include the name of their significant other. You can use “invited guest” in this case.

5.       Keep track of RSVPs as you receive them and double check them again later. If you get one back with no name for the other guest, make sure to follow up.

Wedding guests should also follow proper etiquette:

1. Don’t RSVP and swap out the second guests name for a different one. If the original person will not be attending, politely let the couple know in your response.

2. Don’t bring someone that wasn’t invited or a trouble maker as your guest. If you were not given a plus-one, do not bring one. If the person you were originally bringing can’t attend, ask to bring someone else. These guests also usually refer to a date, not your best friend. It’s a romantic occasion, not an excuse to party.

3. Only include your plus-one if they are guaranteed. Don’t RSVP if you are uncertain, so that the soon to be husband and wife don’t waste their money.

4. If you are bringing a new partner, make sure to introduce them to the couple. It is the polite thing to do and also shows your appreciation for them paying the bill for your date.

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